Imagine if they made illustrated children’s books based on R-rated movies…

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Ever what would happen if classic Mario games were designed in the year 2010? The image below is the likely result, though it seems to be missing DRM and the need for an always-on net connection:

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Two people named Jennifer and Jeff wanted to make their pregnancy announcement in a special and unique way, so they did the only reasonable thing: enlisted the aid of footage from the original Star Wars.

Despite what Microsoft or Blizzard may lead to you believe, real life achievements existed long before the video game ones.

The most specific example that comes to mind is Boy Scouts.  Where else, besides the military, will you get the chance to show off every challenge you have conquered, such as a rank advancement or a sports achievement, with a fancy addition to your clothing for everyone to see?  It’s an even better way of saying, “Hey, look at me!  I have more achievements than that guy!”

So really, we can see that Xbox Live and World of Warcraft just copied merit badges.  Digital merit badges.  It makes sense.

Need proof?  The Cub Scouts (the younger version of the Boy Scouts) have just introduced a video games belt loop and pin for all aspiring scouts.  These are the requirements for the belt loop:

1. Explain why it is important to have a rating system for video games. Check your video games to be sure they are right for your age.

2. With an adult, create a schedule for you to do things that includes your chores, homework, and video gaming. Do your best to follow this schedule.

3. Learn to play a new video game that is approved by your parent, guardian, or teacher.

For comparison’s sake, let’s take a look at some comparable Xbox 360 achievements – say, from Modern Warfare 2:

Look Ma Two Hands

- Kill 10 enemies in a row using akimbo weapons in Single Player or Special Ops.

Colonel Sanderson

- Kill 7 chickens in under 10 seconds in “The Hornet’s Nest.”

Back in the Saddle

- Help train the local militia.

As we can see, Microsoft and Blizzard blatantly ripped off the Boy Scouts and no one bothered to call them out on it.  Killing seven chickens might as well be the cooking merit badge in video game form.  And training your local militia?  Hell, that’s a good deed for the day.  Even better than helping an old lady cross the street.

Now, I just have one question:  Where was this wonderful achievement when I was in the organization?  Back in my day, the oh-so-long-ago early ’90s, we had to earn belt loops based on archaic physical activities such as archery, soccer and physical fitness – things modern day kids only experience in their most recent round of Wii Sports Resort.

If my NES-obsessed brain had been given the chance to earn a video games belt loop back then, I would have not only worn it on the front of my belt, but I would have ordered a second one and proudly glued it over the Cub Scouts logo on my hat.

Too little, too late I suppose.  But at least this current generation of kids will have something more digital entertainment-based to help them connect Cub Scouts with their lives.  Hopefully the Boy Scouts follow suit and offer a video games merit badge soon.

You can check out the full information for both achievements on the Official Boy Scouts of America website.

So today is the last day for you to play Halo 2 online.  Depressing, isn’t it?

With only a few hours left until Microsoft takes down all Xbox Live services for original Xbox games, you may be able to get in a few matches before all of those hours of trash talking become nothing more than a distant memory (assuming you’re reading this article as soon as it’s posted).

I can just see it now.  Only a year from now 360 gamers will begin recounting tales of “vanilla” Xbox Live, much like WoW players regaling everyone with stories of the original Level-60 Naxxramas or countless Onyxia wipes.  “Oh yeah, well I remember when Halo 2 was online.  We used to play that all the time, back in my day….”

But, at least Bungie is having some fun before pulling the plug on Halo 2’s life support.  As you probably already know, we’re big fans of all things teabagging related.  That’s why one of the “Did you know?” posts by Bungie today gave us a good chuckle:

We definitely need some more factoids like that.

Advertising wars in the video game industry always amuse me.  Perhaps it’s my overwhelming sense of nostalgia from the heated 16-bit war between Nintendo and Sega.  Or perhaps I just like seeing blood on the floor.

Either way, Sony is coming out with both arms swinging (no, really, watch the video) in its new commercial for the PlayStation Move controller apparently launching in November.  The video takes a few jabs at the competition (*cough* Wii, Natal *cough*) by mocking waggle and catching red balls that fall from the sky.  The commercial claims to come from the distant future of “December 2010″ wherein Move is a success, and Sony would like to thank you for making it so successful.  A bit of a bold claim, eh?

The video doesn’t really try to market to new users, instead falling back on amusing existing PS3 owners and touting allegedly superior hardware specs.  But it is an interesting watch nonetheless, and we’ll all have to check back in December to see if Sony’s marketing prediction was really as insightful as it claims.

In the mean time, you can probably bet on Microsoft launching its own marketing counter-attack soon.  That should be even more entertaining.